Start.

Something I find myself saying to myself or thinking to myself is: “I have so much to write and say I don’t even know where to start.” It all feels jumbled up and I have some edgy and crazy ideas. I find myself thinking about all this rather then actually working on creating the thing.

Sometimes starting looks like writing some things down about the thing.

Sometimes starting looks like drawing or painting or visualizing.

Sometimes starting looks like sitting and being with everything that feels like it needs to be created.

Sometimes starting looks like making an outline or dumping all the thoughts onto paper.

Sometimes starting looks like going for a walk or laying in bed, on the couch, or in the bath.

Sometimes starting looks like giving my self space for that thing and allowing myself to spend time there no matter what the outcome is or isn’t.

Sometimes starting looks like screaming into pillows and screaming and wiggling.

Sometimes starting looks like crying.

Sometimes starting looks like dancing and flowing to music.

Sometimes starting looks like going to the spa for three days to re-connect with yourself.

A thing I used to do is take courses on how to do things. I thought to myself ‘once I know this one last thing and learn it, then I will be able to start. Then I will be able to create the things I see. And yes, knowing things and learning skills has definitely been helpful but no matter how many courses I took I still didn’t start.

So, one day I started. I heard the thoughts in my mind that said, “this isn’t worth it, don’t do it, no one is going to read your stuff, no one is going to look at the pictures, no one cares about the stuff you have to say.” And maybe these thoughts are right, maybe my work won’t resonate with everyone. The thing is, I’d rather try it and know then be wondering my whole life of ‘what could have been.’ So I started and every day I start again.

It feels like stepping up to the plate everyday. For those of you who play sports it feels like game day, everyday. Yes, it’s a lot but for me, it’s so worth it.