Pantry moths.

I have pantry moths and it’s the first time in my life this has happened.

There’s an entire process to exterminating them from the pantry.

They feed on starches, so basically 90% of what I keep in my pantry.

To get rid of them I need to empty my cupboards. Throw out any foods the moths got into (which was at least half of the products). Wash the jars and outside of the containers I am keeping. Store the containers and food I’m keeping in another location in closed boxes for a few weeks, until I’m sure the moths are gone. Wipe down the cupboards with a vinegar and water solution. And when it comes time, put everything back and restock the cupboards.

This is not a fun project. Or a thing anyone wants to do. It is also physically intensive.

Today, I cleaned out one of the cupboards. Tomorrow, I’ll likely tackle the second one.

It’s one of those things that the sooner I deal with it the smaller the problem.

There was no part of me that wanted to do this today or this week, but it was just what needed attention.

During the process, I got frustrated several times and I felt how exhausted my body was. I felt sad about how much I’ve been dealing with day-in and day-out. In the past, I would suppress the sensations and not feel them - push past it, but today I felt it, cried for less than a minute, and then continued with the task.

I’m cleaning out the cupboards because it’s just true for it to be done.

I’m not mind-setting my way through it, or looking at the positive aspects, or contorting in anyway to make it fun. Sometimes, reality is just what it is. There’s a thing I need to take care of, so I’m taking care of it. Regardless of if it’s the thing I want to do or not.

The resistance leading up to this cupboard cleaning was my fear that the task was too big. Too strenuous. I feared I would push myself past my physical limits to get it done. I feared these things because I’ve experienced this in the past and the consequences of pushing past my physical limits. They aren’t pretty.

But today, I felt the frustration and sadness when it came up, released it, and checked in if I continue to work on the task. I stopped working on it when I hit my limit.

The task is not ‘done.’ It’s in the middle of the process, but I need to honour myself, my physical capacity right now, and I’ve hit it. I need to replenish my energy and take care of myself.

So, I’m going for a swim in the ocean and then eating some dinner.

This process with the moths is challenging me to work in a different way than I’m used to.