Water: the place I rest a lot.

I’ve never been a really strong swimmer. I took lessons when I was a kid. I learned the strokes and how to dive. 

When I was 9 I moved to a house with a pool. A lot of my friends had pools. I now lived in a middle class neighbourhood, with the majority of the houses bigger than mine with beautiful amenities. 

I loved being in the pool. I loved getting a floaty and floating in the pool for hours. Sometimes even falling asleep. I loved doing summer saults and handstands and playing games of dive for the weight in the pool. I loved playing Marko polo and making up crazy games with friends of ways of jumping into the pool. 

I never had an interest in competing in water sports or participating in formal water games or joinging a club for water related things. 

I’ve been feeling exhausted lated. Depleated. I all of a sudden noticed that my bath time increased. That I’m not spending minutes in the water, but hours. I find myself craving more water time. 

I have a pool in my building that is closed because of COVID but I can see the crystal clear water. I want the pool to open. Not so I can swim in it, but so I can buy a floaty and wade in it for as long as I want. 

It’s winter right now and I live by the ocean now. Over the past 2 months I’ve been drawn to the ocean. It asking me to go in it. But it’s cold I respond. And I dream about buying a wet suit and swimming in the ocean. Just being in the water. When I share this with friends, they tell me it’s too cold! What? Now? Cant you wait until the summer. “No!” A voice screams inside me, “Now.” So I’m looking for winter wetsuits right now. 

As I was laying in the water today I realized. This, this here is one way I am in deep rest. This here is where I receive energy. 

Rest can look like many different things. We could be resting while walking, working, doing nothing, swimming, talking to people. I always thought rest looked a certain way and I would do those things to rest. But I didn’t feel rested after. Now I recognize the things I do and how I feel before, during, and after them. I notice when I feel rested. I notice how I allow myself to rest in the spaces. 

I love water. Mostly being in it. 

If you live in Vancouver and you see a person in a wetsuit with a floaty in the ocean in the next couple weeks, that person is me! ☺️